Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
