I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
