i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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