I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
