I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
