I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What a dumb baby whore.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
