I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
