Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
