HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
