Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I supernannyed him into submission
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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