cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
