he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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