i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
