Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
this will be a night to untag.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
