That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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