How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize