Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable