Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

Fav 2 1518 760
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

Fav 50 4654 929
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

Fav 1 2480 1025
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

Fav 2 1704 830
share tweet
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(506): View more from New Brunswick

i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss

Fav 8 883 3146
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.

(904): View more from Florida

And you say you're not good with numbers...

Fav 5 1399 631
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week

Fav 1 1092 625
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.

Fav 4 613 463
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?

Fav 1 301 122
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT