I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize