you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
