um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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