cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
