i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
