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I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
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