life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.