he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.