The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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