Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
