spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
