I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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