I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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