You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
