So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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