She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
