And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
