3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize