Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
