A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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