It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's just so happy...and so naked.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
