You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
jump out the window naked night went bad
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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