no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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