For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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