Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
