just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
