Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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