If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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