Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love you. Go after that dick
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
