we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
