Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
