Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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