Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
