Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
