How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize