i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
