Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
