literally had 100 drinks last night.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
