I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
