He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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