ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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