we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
