Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
