Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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