oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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