yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
